I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. But I didnt love YOU. I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former. THAT IS NOT ME FLIRTING OR LEADING YOU ON, THAT IS ME DOING MY JOB. Toastmasters chapter. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Where I grew up (the UK) it is com Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. Assuming you have written your number in that note, she will text/call you if she is interested, otherwise you should not try to do anything more. +1. Unless we want to rely on eHarmony to produce the next generation, you have to take advantage of opportunities that present in the real world.. I think the key here would be to respect the fact that she's stuck in that work place and just give her the opening and see if she responds. It is important to accept any possible rejection gracefully and stay positive. Or you could be lucky and run into her on a bus or somewhere else out of context. Agreed. I also had people hang around the cash register after I had finished ringing them up try to continue to talk to me. If she says "no", just say "no problem, thanks". But what happens after, due to the dynamics of her life is, every time I go to that damn shop, she will feel somewhat at unease. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. And heres my story to support that: back in my retail days, I worked in a shop that primarily catered to women, and men coming in tended to get a bit of special attention since they were something of a rarity (and often needed a little extra help from the employees). Im gonna join the dont do it! train. I would be so creeped out if someone I was unfamiliar with asked me to stop by their home, even if they phrased it as a party invite. You could either leave her your phone number and tell her to say hi sometime (and I stress that you leave her your number and do not ask her for hers) or you could be a Try it if you meet somewhere else. but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested This crap makes me want to flip tables. That's a pretty good indication something's happening. Well FWIW, I backed off immediately. When you are in customer service dealing with many people every shift, and are attractive enough for a significant number to be attracted to you, even 5% of men being jerks is enough to result in negative consequences on a regular basis. I dealt with this just as much in a secretarial position as I did in retail. Aaaaaand now my friend is no longer a regular at that brunch place. By entering this site you declare The women always gave me their number and let it be known they werent doing anything on Thursday or whatever. I generally agree that it is usually best not to ask people out at work. Please dont do this! The only reason Im torn at all is because Ive also heard the stories of people meeting their husbands/wives through these connections. When asking out a cashier, one should be aware that there is always a chance of rejection. If theyre interested they will, specifically, ask you. Im nice and can have a very bubbly personality, and it really frustrates me that men would assume I was flirting and ask me out. Tip number 2 for getting cashier girls: To seduce a cashier girl, be very well dressed and be well groomed. I only said yes once, mostly because he was polite, unassuming, and I did not feel harassed for a change. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Anyway, I begged her not to ask him out, at least not while I was there because I have been put in that situation at work before and I wanted no part of it, and especially not before we paid because I was worried he might think his tip depended on his answer. Only he didnt stop asking me out. I remember the first time I took a Business Trip. LOL did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. her safety and comfort was maintained by having someone she knew and was familiar with approach her discretely. I know you will, though, I believe questions related to love on this site are mostly looking for that one answer of "do what your heart tells you", but seriously - your best bet, really is to establish rapport in another way. Thats how its been done forfreakingever. She declined, and he drove by her as she was walking to the bus stop and rolled down his window and asked her again if she wanted a ride. Hitting on generally is either straight-up propositioning or coming in sideways. Lets have coffee when you get off work seems to be the go-to line. You should try it sometime. so if said gentleman wishes to run into you outside of work he would have a pretty good idea of how to do so. When I worked in the bookstore I stopped wearing my nametag (with the blessing of my awesome manager) entirely, because of all of the unwanted attention. If you like cheese fries maybe you should stop by, Oh, I didnt even think about the maybe you should stop by, and thats great. I think you should go for it. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I'd say just letting her know you exist, more than simply being a stranger is enough for now. Anyway, it doesn't have to be a rock band, it could be a sporting match, play, whatever - just as long as it's a small enough venue (Taylor Swift concert is much too large) and the entry cost isn't too high. AH this reminds me of when I went out to brunch with a friend and she picked the restaurant and as we were walking up to the door she turned to me and said, Well, I cant promise I wont ask out our waiter before the end of the meal! It turns out she was a regular at this place and had a huge thing for a waiter. He will also talk to you. I would even say that depending on the size and style of the shop (i.e. I got the message. And I love cheese but dont have any from Spain. Don't make it awkward. I always wanted to date him and ask him out, but I never got the courage until a few years ago when I found out we were both single. (I was visiting my hometown, where he worked, but I lived pretty far away.). Don't. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually sig I put up with flirting from customers at my job all the time because Im in a position where Im being paid to be nice and dont feel like I can shut it down like I would outside of work. I dont understand why asking someone out has to be interpreted as some sort of sexual/relationship-driven ritual. I object to singling out women. Thanks fposte. I am 21 years old and living in a large city in Germany where smalltalk in local markets is not a common thing. Or even worse if I read the signs wrong and she rejects me? But this isnt two people meeting in public. Its public for the customer but a workplace for the employee. Ask about the cashiers day or tell them about something happening in the store. Having worked retail as a female, being asked out is one of the most annoying things that can happen to a person, it can go as far as making her feel unsafe. Just let them do their jobs. Find out something It will only make your 2. I am an adult who has a crush on someone (also an adult) who works in retail. But what is your advice? I dont want to be reminded on a regular basis that people are thinking of me in a sexual way while Im working. OP, are you sure neither of these things area happening here? Citation please Im genuinely interested in this, Studies have actually found that men are just as capable as women at understanding nonverbal communication/soft nos. Then, awkwardness. We never talked beside "hello". Its incredibly uncomfortable to be hit on by a customer who you cant say what you feel to, and theres a really uncomfortably dynamic. When asking out a cashier, it is important to always put yourself in their shoes and be respectful of their feelings. After about 2 months of running into her regularly, you can usually try seeing if shes interested in going to a movie or something. I may or may not have drunk texted him after that and needless to say, we never ended up dating. I put the money in her hand, and then she gave change back. Also, ten creeps have delivered sleazy pickup lines to her since this morning, you don't need to be the next one. For more information, please see our So if you cant do that, or you can talk yourself into just enjoying the eye candy, dont do it. _ism_ OP here, I know where youre coming from. The player must time their shot accurately, mix in the right, To get the Man Catcher in Castle Crashers, purchase the Arcane Expansion Pack (DLC) from the Xbox Marketplace. . This is preferable because she is not under obligation to behave professionally for her work and you can spend some time chatting as equals. :/. At my local supermarket, some of the cashiers take smoke breaks near the public the entrance of the supermarket. And if she doesn't come, well, you were planning to go there anyways so it's not a real loss on your part - you just spent an afternoon/evening doing something you already enjoy. And if she did come back at a later time and ask you for coffee, it would be a very great surprise. Granted, yes I loved talking about video games. Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. We went on a couple of dates, but that was it. Stay positive and move on quickly. The supervisor reached out to the safety manager; the safety manager reached out to my department manager; after the safety manager and department manager worked out who the fireman was interested in, my department manager approached my coworker and explained that one of the firemen was interested in asking her out. Positive body language like dancing with excitement and enthusiasm helps convey your intentions clearly. Alisons advice on how to make it low-pressure is good. Its HER fantasy. Its her job to make connections with her customers and, you know, be nice. At one library where I worked, we were actually told to stop wearing our nametags because there was so much of this. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck. We talk every day and meet a few times a week. If you dont call well forget this ever happened.. my lying coworker claimed someone said I couldnt eat at my desk, telling recruiters I wont move to states that discriminate, AirTag etiquette, and more. OP, I did this once. rev2023.5.1.43405. Yes, it was a common interest, but I also had a certain number of reservations and sales I needed to make. It is best to be direct and honest when asking someone out. Its not flattering, it makes me cringe. If you were interested in a customer, what would you do about it? or "Did you enjoy it" or even worse, "Where were you?". Then later on phone jobs I got asked out every once in a while and used the same excuse. Could, please, the downvoters explain why they do so ? By engaging the person in a discussion, you can explore their biases and try to clear up any possible misunderstandings. There is some amazing advice here, from so many perspectives. I didnt know there was a section in Craigslist like that. Should be a great (event, e.g. I don't believe I do haha. Try to give them lots of room to reject your offer without feeling pressured to say yes. You can still have conversation with them, but don't put her on the spot. Youre just engaging through a different means of communication rather than face to face. I'm from the midwest and women in service definitely say those words, but it is more commonly heard from older women to younger men I'm gonna go touch some grass, you should too S SargeMaximus And this is an obvious double standard but I think its less of a big deal because the manager in question is male. Im married, so I definitely wasnt going to ask out the cute liquor store employee who likes the same kind of beer I like anyway. Don't offer compliments, rather, try to just be friendly. The customer could respond in a perfectly reasonable manner after being turned down, but the employee will still be extremely nervous about the exchange. Oh, my bleeding eyes. Um nope and nope. Or, just be a little more obvious about YOUR flirting; hang there beside him just to talk to him, and then watch is body language; is he glad of it, or does he start to get antsy or pull away after a polite interval. Yuck! the expected level of anonymity and dehumanization :-) ) it is probably culturally accepted that if the person in front of you is engaging in conversation with the cashier, you politely wait. This will show the cashier that you are serious about your intentions of asking them out. Most notably, the fireman passed his number through those people to give to her, and left it up to her to contact him if she was interested. And I am interested in this person is not exactly placing the Objective Viewpoint Ray on high beams in illuminating whether the nice person at the store is, in fact, genuinely interested. would come in, sit in your section, chat you up, and if you flirted back they tipped you well but if you didnt, or if you said, I have a boyfriend, you got no tip. An online dating website is the real world. People should use common sense caution. I got hit on by so many men when I was 16ish that could have been my father. I'd advise against going straight to her with your phone number on a piece of paper without having some small talk before. It is not out of the realm of possibility that someone might make a complaint, factual or otherwise, about a retail worker who turned him/her down. Q: How can I gain confidence to ask a cashier out? Maybe you should stop by is perfect because simply not showing up is a lot easier than rejecting someone outright. One night, I got all dressed up (hair in hot curlers and everything) and went to the drive thru to see him. It would be fun to run into you there. We go on vacation together, we spend holidays and new years together and so on. After they reject you, accept their rejection graciously. (Not that youre Lisa, OP, just that its a humorous musical way of showing how two folks interpreted the same interaction!). If you buy e.g. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Keep a close eye on who listens intently to what youre saying, and who just wants to hear themselves talk. So I definitely dont think its fair to allege that Im not empathetic here Im reflecting on my own feelings as well as those Ive heard from others of both genders, or as you say, putting myself in their shoes.. Assenting to courtship is an act of whimsy. I dont think Ive actually ever met a rando in public and ended up dating them for more than one date (and very, very few of those). Not a library, but Ive worked all over the food service and retail spectrum, including a major event stadium regularly serving 60,000 drunken bros in party mode, and the most I ever got hit on was the 6 months I worked at a Barnes and Noble. OMG yes. If she wants you to ask her out, she'll make clear signals that you won't have to post on the internet for help interpreting. The cashier's problem is that she's stuck behind her cash register. Any approach must provide an easy exit for her so there'll be no uncomfortable conversations next time. Pick up something and buy it..from her lane. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. As someone who has worked in customer service for a long time, I can tell you that it will make many customer service reps very uncomfortable. Even when we were together, hed come by to check up on me, hed get a little bit jealous if he saw me talking to other guys. This is why her name is "girl" int this post. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? He also rips off an arm to use as a sword. Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been. Women deal with this sort of stuff all the time at work, in public, going about errands, etc. Obviously you dont want to be creepily waiting for him by his car or something, but it could give you a chance to ask him out while hes off the clock. Again, I have a feeling the answer is "just do it" but I'm awkward and would love to hear from any female cashiers(or similar customer service positions) on how and how NOT to ask her out.. She smiles at me when I come in, but its hard to tell if she's just doing her job or if she actually likes seeing me, ya know? It puts me in an awkward position, and moreover, I dont want to feel sexualized at work. While giving your note you could say: [while receiving your change] "Thanksand oh this is for you You can read it later! *shrug* again, Im sure there are some people who are great at movie and party first dates. A: Rejection can be tough, but its important to accept it gracefully. WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? Wrong. I declined. Being a little bit creepy, is okay, if you can't help it (you should), but don't be a stalker. I flirted and flirted with himI mean REALLY laid it on thick and I couldnt figure out why he wasnt responding. Additionally, it can be helpful to practice what you want to say beforehand. Unless we want to rely on eHarmony to produce the next generation, you have to take advantage of opportunities that present in the real world. Casually go her way, drop something or try to create a natural interaction, then start conversation. Sadly she wasn't in today when I was. Its awkward. Later, on hearing about it, my nasty coworker who was a demoted ex-manager told me that I shouldnt have been rude to a customer. So I can definitely imagine a manager who would expect someone in a customer service position to say yes to keep the customer. If she did say "no" or not respond, after that interaction as you continue to go to the market, just behave casually as you normally would and if you go through her line be polite and friendly but with no expectations. ), then drop it, and to me, its no big deal. If I helped, Im glad!
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